i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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