His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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