I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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