Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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