We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
