Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
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