During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
