They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We don't watch enough power rangers
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
