can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
