Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
