we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
