I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
