My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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