I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
