Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
