i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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