At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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