Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.

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(626): View more from California

im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...

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(734): View more from Michigan

i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.

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(561): View more from Florida

Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!

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(810): View more from Michigan

So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.

(810): View more from Michigan

They're like sad pomegranates.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.

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(305): View more from Florida

The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service

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