it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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