he shaved USA in his pubs
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
