Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
