the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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