Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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