just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
