I want to make a zoo with you.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
