All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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