I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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