I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
How's work?
Spinning.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
