Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Lo siento on account of my penis...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
