I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
