At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
