she kept yelling 'call me bella'
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
