Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
