We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize