sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Boobs speak an international language.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
