Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i believe in u and ur pee
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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