she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
