they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
