How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
