he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
