I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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