My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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