OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
