Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
