never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we're making bets on your personal life
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
