i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
