can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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