one might say we're banned from that church
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
