My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
