Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
ttyl tear gas
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
