Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
it was like eating out sand paper
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
