no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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